I Got Three Words Out And She Answered In English

There was a half second of relief before the disappointment arrived.

That is the part you have not admitted to anybody. You had got three words out, and you were about four seconds from having to produce the rest of the sentence, and she answered you in English.

And something in you went: oh, thank goodness.

And then, about half a second later, something else went: oh.

And the second thing has been with you since, and the first thing is what makes it complicated, because you cannot be straightforwardly annoyed about being rescued when part of you was glad.

That happens most times you try. And you have started to conclude something from it.

Not consciously. It comes out as a sentence in the back of your head that goes: they can tell it is not worth it. Or: I am not at the level where people will let me.

So let me deal with her first, because you are half blaming her and I am not going to let that stand.

She was being kind.

That is the whole of it and there is nothing else in it. She heard somebody working hard at something difficult, and she has a way to make it easy, and she used it. It was generosity, done fast, without thinking, in the way people help somebody who is carrying too much.

She was not judging your accent. She was not sparing herself. She was probably not even aware of making a decision, because switching to the language everybody in the exchange shares is what a helpful person does automatically.

And there is often a second reason and it is worth knowing: she may enjoy speaking English, or want the practice herself, or be pleased to use a thing she is good at. Which makes it a small pleasure for her and not a favor at all.

Nothing about that exchange was a verdict on you.

How hear we every man in our own tongue

There is a moment in Acts where a crowd hears something, and their astonishment is about which language it came in.

And how hear we every man in our own tongue, wherein we were born? (Acts 2:8, King James Version)

How hear we every man in our own tongue, wherein we were born.

That crowd is from everywhere. The chapter lists the places, a long list, people from all over the known world in one city, and the thing that undoes them is not the sound or the wind or the fire.

It is that each one is being addressed in the language they were born in.

And notice the phrase they use: our own tongue, wherein we were born. Not the language they can manage. Not the one they do business in, which for most of them would have been Greek and would have worked perfectly well.

The one they were born in.

So the first great act of that day is God addressing people in the language of their childhood rather than the language they could get by in, and the crowd is astonished precisely because it did not need to be that way.

Now here is what that does to your Tuesday, and it is not what you expect.

The woman in the shop did the same thing. She heard a man working in a language he was not born in, and she moved the conversation into the one he was, and that instinct is a good one and it is the instinct of that whole chapter.

You cannot be angry about being met in your own tongue. It is the kindest thing available and God did it first.

What you can do is notice that it is not the whole story, because the crowd in Acts did not stay in that moment. They went home into their own languages and the message went with them, and the languages themselves turned out to matter enormously.

Being met in your own tongue is a kindness and God did it first, and it has never once been a judgment on the one being met. Acts 2:8 has a crowd astonished at being addressed in the language they were born in, and the Holy Spirit is the one present with somebody who felt relief and then disappointment half a second apart.

What the half second of relief means

Here is the practical half, and it is about your side rather than hers.

The relief is the part worth looking at, because it is the part you can do something about.

Something in you was glad to be let off. That is not a shameful thing to notice and it is very ordinary: you were about four seconds from the difficult part, and somebody removed it, and your body responded the way a body does when a difficulty is removed.

But it means the exchange had two people in it who both, slightly, wanted the easier version. And when both parties prefer the easy route, the easy route is what happens every single time.

That is why this keeps repeating. It is not that people keep rescuing you. It is that nobody in the exchange, including you, has ever pushed back on the rescue.

And here is the practical thing, which is simple and which nobody tells adults learning a language.

You are allowed to continue.

When somebody switches, you can carry on in the language you started in. Not aggressively, not making a point. Just answering the next thing in the language you were using, and letting the conversation be in two languages at once, which is a completely normal thing that happens all over the world every day.

Most people, when you do that, switch back. Not out of politeness: because a conversation naturally settles into whichever language is being persisted in, and if you keep going, that is the one.

And some will not, and that is fine too, and then the conversation is bilingual and both of you are being understood.

Both of you preferred the easier version and that is why it repeats, and nobody in the exchange has ever once pushed back on it. The written word makes being addressed in your birth language the great kindness of that day, and the Spirit of God is the one who is with somebody who felt relief and has not admitted it.

Try the same person again this week

So here is the assignment, and the important word is same.

Try again with the same person, in the same language, once more this week.

The same person. The woman at that shop, the same colleague, whoever it was. Not a stranger, and not somebody new.

Here is why the sameness matters. At the moment, each attempt is a first attempt with somebody, which means every exchange starts from nothing, and a person who has heard you try once is in a completely different position from a person who has not.

The second time, she knows. Not that you are learning, exactly, but she has a small piece of information about you: this one has a go. And people respond to that. The switching happens most reliably in a first exchange, when the kind thing is obvious and there is no history.

So go back this week, to the same person, and say something in the same language. It does not have to be more advanced than last time. It can be the same three words.

And if she switches again, carry on in yours for one more exchange. One. Then let the conversation be whatever it becomes and do not make anything of it.

And here is what to hold on to about the half second, because you will feel it again.

When the relief arrives, notice it and do not act on it. That is the whole of the discipline in this article. The relief is not a signal that you are out of your depth; it is what a body does when a difficulty is lifted. Let it come, and keep speaking, and it passes in about two seconds.

You are able to feel the relief and keep speaking anyway, and it has never once been a signal that you were out of your depth. Acts 2:8 records a crowd astonished at hearing their own tongue, and the Holy Spirit is the one present with somebody going back to the same shop this week.